We Are Still Here

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion (or other commenters), that's fine. To each their own. These reviews are not meant to be statements of facts or endorsements, I am just sharing my opinions and my perspective when watching the film and is not meant to reflect how these films should be viewed. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 0-5. 0, of course, being unwatchable. 1, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being great and 5, being epic! And if you enjoy these reviews feel free to share them and follow the blog or follow me on Twitter (@RevRonster) for links to my reviews and the occasional live-Tweet session of the movie I'm watching!  "I am still here," is something I said at the credits...and that was followed by, "Why?"

We Are Still Here ? 1 out of 5

I?ve been hearing great things about We Are Still Here for the last few months.  I?ve heard a few celebs saying it?s amazing, some friends told me it?s a killer horror film and the fact it has a very high?nearly perfect?rating on Rotten Tomatoes all screamed that this was going to be a fantastic scary flick.  The only problem I had was I wasn?t taking into consideration that when I took verbal recommendations for this film the people telling me the movie is spectacular always hesitated before saying they thought it was ?rad.?  That's kinda a big red flag that tells me that it might be all hype and, after watching it, it really does feel like that's all it was.

All the best horror films start with a couple that lost their son and then immediately
cuts to movie night under the covers on the couch.

Anne (Barbara Crampton) and Paul (Andrew Sensenig) Sacchetti recently lost their son Bobby and decide to move from the city to a more remote home located outside a small town.  Anne is having a really hard time getting over Bobby?s death and swears she can feel his presence in the house.  She quickly invites some friends who are on the more ?spiritual persuasion? to come and read the house for vengeful spirits.  They soon learn that the house is home to a darkness that wakes up every few decades and demands a sacrifice.

Look at that evil prick.

I?m not going to say that my expectations for this film were high but seeing all the critical acclaim and all the praise from people who?ve watched it, I have to say that I did have hopes that I was going to watch a spine-chilling film.  Sadly, what I experienced was a sloppy film that felt like it was composed and created by student filmmakers who changed the story after the first act and decided to do something completely different in the final moments of the feature. The whole film didn't feel like this critically acclaimed piece of art but rather an over-hyped sloppy mess that sorta feels like it has no idea where it wants to take itself.

Dollar store Greg Kinnear, how are you?

"Hi!  I'm the best actor this film has and I'm not utilized
in the best possible manner."

The first problem that really took me out of the film was the fact that nearly all the performances in the film are weak.  They?re never outright bad but pretty much no one in the film feels natural or even slightly authentic.  The only character that was played remotely well was done by the actor Monte Markham who played a conniving character who knew more about the house than he was letting on.  Aside from this, the rest of the cast all come off awkward, uncomfortable and completely incapable of giving a realistic reading of a single line.

You can improve everyone's line reading in this film by muting your TV or
just turning off the film and watching something better.

Gah!  A bad cover to a metal album is in this film!

Secondly, there was no real atmosphere of horror throughout the entire film.  Granted, there was a moment or two in the beginning that was creepy and felt like this film was going to be a slow-burn type that built to something really wicked but, in the end, these moments ended up feeling like flukes or accidental moments of horror.  There was a genuinely scary moment that involved a handyman being attacked by the spirits in the basement but, aside from this, the rest of the film is devoid of any real terror, suspense or thrills.  Writer/Director Ted Geoghegan almost feels like he is trying to alleviate this lack of terror by having the final act go off the rails and become a slasher/gorefest (which, by the way, was never really an element present throughout the rest of the film).  At this point, it just felt like Geoghegan was trying to apologize for how boring the scares were and then sloppily added needless gore to make up for it.  But that's guessing at the motives at their best because guessing at their worst and I can't help but wonder if Geoghegan just decided to give up on the more haunting scares and just go for cheap gore scares.

Okay, movie, I'll give you this one because that is creepy as hell.

Finally, the story was just uninteresting and terribly handled.  At first, the film felt like it was going somewhere with the dead son but suddenly the focus changes to being about this haunted house (which felt like it was stolen from The Amityville Horror) and then it feels like it changes course again and becomes a slashfest with an emphasis on blood and guts in the final moments.  Add in the fact that the film very lazily reveals the mystery involved in the house during a single moment of blatant exposition being literally told to the viewer and the fact the performances feel wooden and unnatural and it made me feel like there was no script for the film but was, rather, made up entire on the spot or from a smudged outline hastily written on a stained bar napkin.   At least, that?s how I account for how the story keeps feeling like it is constantly changing focus and never really gives off the feel that it has a course in mind from the start.  It?s quite a feat that this film, in its very short running length, can feel like it is jumping so rapidly from tone to tone but, at the very same time, feel like it is dragging on and on with no real direction in mind.

So, please explain to me how you plan to wield several knives in one hand in order to protect yourself?

Even though I went into We Are Still Here with no real expectations other than the realization that it was enjoyed by a lot of people, I walked out feeling overwhelmingly underwhelmed and bored.  The final product was just a forgettable mess of bad acting, sloppy storytelling, awful acting and no real scares to make the feature interesting.  Because of the film?s rave reviews, I started to question if I watched the wrong film or was researching reviews for a different film but, alas, I wasn?t wrong but rather just found a film that spoke to many but didn?t speak to me.

Krampus

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion (or other commenters), that's fine. To each their own. These reviews are not meant to be statements of facts or endorsements, I am just sharing my opinions and my perspective when watching the film and is not meant to reflect how these films should be viewed. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 0-5. 0, of course, being unwatchable. 1, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being great and 5, being epic! And if you enjoy these reviews feel free to share them and follow the blog or follow me on Twitter (@RevRonster) for links to my reviews and the occasional live-Tweet session of the movie I'm watching!  Krampus is the reason for the season.

Krampus ? 4 out of 5

'Tis the season, I guess?but when the season now starts the day before Halloween, it?s really hard to remain in the Christmas spirit when December gets here.  To me, the holiday is about spending some time with the family, exchanging stories, gifts and laughs and eating too much?and then going to the movies because that?s a tradition with my girlfriend and I.  Occasionally, I get into a Christmas film here and there?films like A Christmas Story, Die Hard (yes, that?s an X-mas film), Home Alone, How the Grinch Stole Christmas or Gremlins?but, for the most part and even though I like them, I don?t really partake in many of these features too often?at least, not on a yearly basis.  However, when I saw the trailer for Krampus, I quickly realized that I think I found a holiday feature that was right up my alley?and it surely was!

                                                                                                                    Universal Pictures
When you think about it, sounds of joy and horror aren't really so
different.

                                                                                       Universal Pictures
Adam Scott just looks at home in the dark comedy genre.

It?s the most wonderful time of the year for Tom (Adam Scott), Sarah (Toni Collette), their kids; Max (Emjay Anthony) and Beth (Stefania LaVie Owen), and Tom?s mother (Krista Stadler).  The family is having their fair share of issues as Tom and Sarah?s marriage is a bit unstable and Max is becoming a bit of a problem; however, the boy is still hoping to have at least one Christmas like the ones he is used to.  Those hopes are dashed as Sarah?s sister Linda (Allison Tolman?who I loved on the first season of Fargo) and her husband Howard (David Koechner) bring their loud and abrasive family to the festivities and their tomboy daughters; Stevie (Lolo Owen) and Jordan (Queenie Samuel), find Max's letter to Santa and openly mock him for his belief in the bringer of happiness and joy at the dinner table.  Max is embarrassed, enraged and disheartened and rips up his letter to Santa.  This act awakens a dark and ancient spirit, the very shadow of Santa Claus, and he?s come to collect the wicked people of the neighborhood.  He is, as the grandmother explains, Krampus.

                                                                                                                    Universal Pictures
Plot Twist:  Krampus was a bell the whole time!

For those of you who don?t know, Krampus is based on an ancient folklore from Europe who hung out with St. Nick and punished the bad kids and taught them lessons.  In the past few years, Krampus has re-entered the world of pop culture?possibly due to the extremely hilarious episode of The League.  I can?t confirm if that?s why the creature?s popularity returned but that?s how I discovered the legend of it.  Having this legend become a big piece of our pop culture pie, getting a sweet, dark Christmas story out of it seemed like inevitability.  Sure, there are a couple of cheap ones made by studios who mastered the art of the low budget, Direct-to-DVD features but it?s nice that a big budget one was released into the theaters because there just aren?t enough dark Christmas tales out there.  Sure, we have schlocky ones like Silent Night, Deadly Night and classics like Gremlins but it?s been a long time since we?ve had a darker, more twisted Christmas film come along and Krampus really hits the spot and fills the void.

                                                                                                                     Universal Pictures
Krampus is metal as fuck!

One thing that surprised me about the film was the fact the story definitely felt more geared towards horror than comedy.  Yes, the film does have some very funny moments and there are enough of them that firmly cements the film into the genre of dark comedy but the story really felt more like it was leaning more in the direction of horror than it was towards the humorous.  This observation is in no way a complaint because I actually really liked that about the film.  The director (who also co-wrote this one and directed and co-wrote the awesome Halloween feature Trick ?r Treat) really mastered the tone and atmosphere of this film and was able to create something that took all the clich?s of the season?like snowmen, decorations, sweets and toys?and was able to make them feel horrifying, unsettling and extremely creepy.  The film is never flat-out terrifying but it does work in a few decent jump scares to get the heart racing and the visuals and Krampus? creatures (and the beast himself) are designed to look very spooky and really made for a film that will have you laughing one second with its humor and cast but sending a shiver down your spine the next.

                                                                                                                       Universal Pictures
In all seriousness, this thing was terrifying.

Additionally, the story never tries to overcomplicate itself or try to be anything beyond what it needs to be.  It?s simple, direct and to the point and it works to get the plot moving rapidly and establish so much without having to resort to over-explaining what is happening.  The only real time exposition is laid out for you is when the grandmother Omi is explaining who is tormenting their neighborhood and her history with Krampus and, even then, it is done creatively with some sweet animation and it never feels like the production is telling rather than showing.  Furthermore, the writing is done so well with the characters that we are able to learn so much about them, their motivations and their conflicts by natural feeling dialogue and interaction between them.  This really helped to create characters that all feel unique, vital to the plot, fairly realistic and extremely sympathetic.

                                                                                                            Universal Pictures
"His name is Krampus and we all need to kiss our asses goodbye.  Omi out!"

Writing the characters well is all good but without actors to back it up you don?t have much.  That really wasn?t a problem here as the cast is comprised of very talented people that all did their job very well.  I?m a big fan of Adam Scott and really enjoyed him in another dark comedy (Piranha 3D) and it was nice to see him return to this genre and share the screen with other actors I?m fond of like Collette, Tolman and Koechner.  One thing that wouldn?t get out of my head as I watched this was the reality that if I was an actor, this would be a project I would fall all over myself to be a part of.  Being a fan of dark comedies and combining that with the story and the concept of killer toys being led by an evil version of Santa, I don?t know how I could resist such a project.

                                                                                                                    Universal Pictures
It's pretty much a guarantee that if Koechner is in it, I'll see it!

Finally, the one thing I really enjoyed about this film was the ambiguous but ominous ending.  Everything built up in the story could have easily been undone with an overly sappy clich? Hollywood happy ending.  However (and without giving anything away), Krampus takes an old formula seen in the Christmas lesson stories and does a nice little twist on them that allows the viewer to make up their own mind on how pleasant (or unpleasant) of an ending it was.

                                                                                                                     Universal Pictures
Now we just need the badass tattooed Santa from Rise of the Guardians and
we have an epic battle crossover event of a lifetime!

I was pretty excited to watch Krampus and was thoroughly pleased with the final product.  The story is straight forward and filled with some laughs and some genuinely creepy moments.  The cast is fantastic and it definitely has some replay value to it that I want to buy it on Blu-ray and make it a yearly tradition to watch the thing.  I?ll always have a place in my heart for more traditional Christmas tales that involve a mean man with a tragic case of a tiny heart or a dude who is abducted by some ghosts and taught to not be a dick or seeing a bullied reindeer learn that everyone is special?especially when some asshole needs something from you?but, as much as I dig these stories, I kinda dig ones with a little darkness and horror to them more.

Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion (or other commenters), that's fine. To each their own. These reviews are not meant to be statements of facts or endorsements, I am just sharing my opinions and my perspective when watching the film and is not meant to reflect how these films should be viewed. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 0-5. 0, of course, being unwatchable. 1, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being great and 5, being epic! And if you enjoy these reviews feel free to share them and follow the blog or follow me on Twitter (@RevRonster) for links to my reviews and the occasional live-Tweet session of the movie I'm watching!  I'm actually surprised we haven't had a scouts vs. zombies movie yet.  If anyone will survive the zombie apocalypse it's those nerds.  Sorry scouts. Please save me when the zombies come.

Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse ? 4 out of 5

The bright side of having a girlfriend who is obsessed with horror films and zombies means that when films like Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse become a must-see.  Additionally, having your anniversary on Halloween means that part of the celebration of your time together is going to a haunted house and treating yourself to whatever horror movie is currently at the local cinema.  Originally, we were going to see Goosebumps because I thought the film looked fun and I love Jack Black but no sooner than when we made our plans, she saw a trailer for this film.  Well, my love for Jack Black is quickly trumped by the love for my girlfriend and we ended up seeing a little zombie comedy.  My expectations weren?t high but I was completely surprised by this one.

                                                                          Broken Road Productions/Paramount Pictures
Surprised like a shotgun blast to the face.

Ben (Tye Sheridan), Carter (Logan Miller) and Augie (Joey Morgan) are lifelong friends and all members of the scouts.  Sadly, Ben and Carter are growing out of their love for the scouts and want out because of the impact it has on their social lives; however, Augie is still all-in and is even going to get a major badge during a camping trip and looks to one day be like just like their scout leader (David Koechner).  Ben and Carter plan to sneak out at night and hit a party where Carter?s sister and Ben?s love interest (Halston Sage) is attending.  However, the friends soon realize that while they were in the woods, a zombie outbreak hit the city and the undead are shuffling around to eat human flesh.  Using all their scouts skills and with the help of a strip club cocktail waitress named Denise (Sarah Dumont), the boys plan on saving the day and kicking some undead ass.

                                                                         Broken Road Productions/Paramount Pictures
Their extensive knowledge of knots shall save the day!

Going into the film, a part of me thought this film was going to be a cheap zombie film that was all fluff and no substance.  I imagined weak gore effects, bad makeup, barely passable acting and a story that had no real depth to them and was littered with characters that were one-dimensional and were most likely around for no other reason than to be a tally in the body count.  I was 100% wrong on every single account.  Instead, this movie is a blast of a dark comedy that is filled with great acting, fun characters and unrelenting laughs.

                                                                         Broken Road Productions/Paramount Pictures
Damn, all those old folks who claim kids are shitty because of their phones
and their love of selfies are right!  Wait, the kid isn't the zombie here...
Hmmm...Selfies save lives kids.

Right off the bat, the feature starts with a killer way to establish the outbreak and it does so with an extremely hilarious sequence that pretty much sets the bar for the comedy you?ll get for the rest of the movie.  Workaholics? Blake Anderson comes into play here as a janitor at a biological research facility and he ends up, through some comedic shenanigans, causing a zombie to get loose.  After this moment, the film pretty much never lets up on the quality gags and it makes for a film that is unrelentingly funny.  Granted, there were times when some of the jokes were a little too juvenile as they went the gross-out route and even threw in some sophomoric dick jokes (or, in this case, zombie dick).  Occasionally, these scenes feel overly familiar and, often, seem like they were lifted from other zombie films but adjusted a bit by adding in some juvenile humor but even when they went with this formula it was still funny and far better than what you usually see when comedy goes this way.

                                                                         Broken Road Productions/Paramount Pictures
I'm sure he's alright.

As far as the acting department this film is no slouch.  In past reviews for Mud and Joe, I sang the praises of one Tye Sheridan and he brings a new angle to his acting ability with this one as he has to juggle being a tad comedic as well as being the more serious character because he?s the one who gets the girl (shut up, that?s not a spoiler.  You pretty much know it from the get go because it?s just basic and common story telling.)  Logan Miller does a tremendous job at being the over-stimulated, sex-driven perv-ball of a character but does it to the point he?s funny and likable and never gets to be annoying?a real risk with this type of character.  Joey Morgan is just charming as hell as Augie and really just comes off as a likable character that I found myself quickly investing in and cheering for.  Additional, the rest of the cast really nails their parts and their portion of the production to create a film that is extremely well balanced in not just the acting department but also in the character wing thanks to great writing.  Finally, the three main boys all have a really pronounce and definite chemistry and it makes for their conflict about the scouts and how it is ingrained in their friendship believable and really created the right amount of drama that mixed perfectly with all the laughs.

                                                                          Broken Road Productions/Paramount Pictures
Jesus, that's some badasses right there.

My complaints for the film are very minor and didn?t really hurt my score or my experience.  There is a few times where the editing got choppy and I wasn?t that wowed by the performance of Sarah Dumont but, aside from this, the film is beyond solid.  I already mentioned how funny the film is (there?s a great running gag with David Koechner?s character) but the film also uses music very effectively to create slick and hip sequences and the film actually brings in some killer action sequences that really paints the boys as some Boy Scout badasses!  However, there is one thing about the film?that?s not necessarily a complaint?that bothered me.

                                                                          Broken Road Productions/Paramount Pictures
And that one thing is that hair piece.  Wait, no it isn't.  Ah, just read the next
paragraph.

SGttZA really showed me how spoiled I?ve become thanks to The Walking Dead.  I?ve been a fan of zombies since I was barely a tween thanks to my father showing me Night of the Living Dead but it was The Walking Dead and Greg Nicotero?s way of how zombies behave that really made me obsessed on a new level with the undead.  Due to this man?s attention and the show?s detail, they?ve set the bar on how zombies should act and when I go back and watch old films and productions that aren?t TWD, I have a hard time watching the extras essentially flopping around with seemingly no direction or consideration of how a creature that is, for all intents and purposes, a walking corpse supposed to act.  I?m not saying that the zombies in SGttZA are bad but they?re nowhere near the level of attempted realism that I am now used to.  Hell, now six seasons into The Walking Dead has made it hard for me to accept the lumbering, cheap Frankenstein monster gaits of the zombies in Romero?s zombie films.  So, saying that the zombies move and act poorly isn?t really a commentary on the cast or the production but rather a comment on my own artificial standards that have been crafted by one of my favorite shows.  So, if any zombies from this film are reading this (you?re probably not), you did your job fine (especially for a dark comedy), I?ve just had the zombies in The Walking Dead become my default setting for the undead.

                                                                         Broken Road Productions/Paramount Pictures
Then again, The Walking Dead doesn't have zombie cats...

I may have walked in a little skeptical with Scouts Guide tothe Zombie Apocalypse but I walked out still chuckling to myself over what I saw.  To say it was better than what I was expecting is putting it lightly because too many zombie films are cheap and are often thrown together with little regard for quality.  Since the genre of zombie fic is so popular right now, we are bombarded with hundreds of films, comics, books and puppet shows (I?m guessing, I don?t see many zombie puppet shows) attempting to cash in on the craze.  This film could have easily been one of those disasters but it was far more entertaining than that and, instead, was crafted with great gags and played out with a fantastic cast!